...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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