Life is so much better after having sex.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
