yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
