her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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