Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just gargled with NyQuil
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
