you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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