it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
