did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
