no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
