Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
there's paper in my vomit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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