and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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