so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
