I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
