I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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