Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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