My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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