Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize