I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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