he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
