ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
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He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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