5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
