dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
