i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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