I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
