Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i believe in u and ur pee
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
