I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
