I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just gargled with NyQuil
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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