i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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