If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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