You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
