I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
