real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
