Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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