I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's rum buckets o'clock
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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