The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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