You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
