Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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