i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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