It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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