When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
