I want to stick my p in your. b.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
