Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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