I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
