I don't think brook has ever known best
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
