i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize