I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
