I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
