READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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