did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
