My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
