It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
