he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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