Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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