I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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