i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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