my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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